I am helpless. I am suffocated by depression. If only you knew how it feels.

I don't know how to start this emo entry again. Yes, its again emo.

If only someone knows how it feels.. But I don't want anyone to suffer this depression of mine..

• I am tired.
• I am helpless
• I am hopeless
• I am sick
• I am suffocated by this depression.

I hate this kind of feeling.

I don't know what to do. I still have faith that everything would be fine, but am I still I alive by that time?

I woke up this morning with you by my side.

Its a brand new day! HAHA. We have school tomorrow. I'm excited to see them again after 5 days f no classes. Whew. But its just that we still have exams to take. Tomorrow would be English and Social studies. Then on Wednesday, it would be Science and CLE. Also on Wednesday, its friendship day. :] And talking about friendship day, I'm done with the cards. HAHA. It took me so much time to think about what to say to some coz I don't know them that much. :]

Hmmmm. I want to buy the album of Secondhand Serenade. I love their songs. Well, its kinda emo. LOL.

Your Call by Secondhand Serenade.

Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
call I'm desperate for your voice
I'm listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet

I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Stripped and pollished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Because every breath that you will take
while you are sitting next to me
will bring life into my deepest hopes, What's your fantasy?


I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home (x4)


born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Do you know how it feels?

If I had only one friend left..

I always thought that you were the best, I guess I always will. I always felt that we were blessed, and I feel that way still. Sometimes we took the hard ruled, but we always saw it through. If I had only one friend left, I want it to be you.

I miss the old times. I miss the old you. Everything has changed since we reach this year. Is the problem with me? Or is it with you? I'm tired of being that quiet little girl. I stand up and speak for myself, but I just can't. I know what might happen if I would be that brave. And I don't want that to happen. I don't want you to get hurt, and I know I have to sacrifice my own contentment for you not to get hurt. But what? I just can't keep this feeling inside me forever. Do you know how it feels to be betrayed? Betrayed by a friend who knows you inside out. And for sure, that friend knows your weaknesses and strengths. If I could just speak up and tell you everything. If I only have that confidence like you have. If I only have the guts to tell you that you've done enough damaged in my heart. If only you knew everything..

Sometimes, the world was on our side. Sometimes, it wasn't fair. Sometimes, it gave a helping hand. Sometimes, we didn't care. Coz when we were together it made that dream come true. If I had only one friend left, I want it to be you.

Now, tell me. Do you now realize everything? I bet you don't. I miss the old you. Why can't you just be your old self? I know we had gone through a lot of changes in life, but does it mean everything have to change? I know you don't probably know what I'm talking about. Perhaps, you also don't know what the problem really is. I'm tired of those stupid conversation of ours when you would put the phone down harshly. I'm tired of those days when you will get at me for the things I've done wrong. Aren't you supposed to encourage me and support me? I'm tired of those days when you would just left me hanging while you are talking to your other friends. I'm tired of everything. Its not the TIME. Its not the issue here.

You've always been a great friend to me, but why do you have to be that way? Theres no need to LIE.

"Aren't my efforts enough? Do I have to be brave to tell you everything? I know you're not a kid anymore. You just have to discover everything. Coz I can't bare the fact that you are there without knowing anything that I feel."

I know who I am, And I know whats best for me.

I just got home from my freaky sleepover at my cousin's house. I really didn't wish to sleep there because of two reasons. The first reason was my cellphone doesn't have anymore battery. And the second reason was I don't have my sleeping garments. Haha. Its okay with the garments, but with the phone? Naaah-Uhhhh. I am really pissed off with myself. I forgot to charge my phone. Huhuhu. Tuloy I wasn't able to do the camwhoring. Rarr. Anyway, the sleepover was really great. Haha. I know what happened at the ending of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Haha. I read the epilogue of the book. Thats why. Anyway, let me tell the whole thing. We went to our cousin's house because its Lola Nining's birthday. I think we arrived there at around 5pm. Kuya Nikki wasn't still there because he has daw band practice. Daw. So, I wasn't able to go to his room and do the stuffs I used to do when I am there. His room was locked. At least, Sharlene was there. Haha. She is the one who bought the Harry Potter book. And there. We decided to go their house because kuya wasn't there yet. So, we went there. I just played PS2 and did a little chatting with the people who are online. Then went offline. Went to Kuya's house because he is there. And yeah, before i forget, I love the food. We had Lengua for dinner. :] Love it. Then the time came that they have to go home. Then there. I slept with Sharlene. We slept like around 2am. Haha. I was reading the epilogue to her. And she was so irritated. Haha. And yeah, she even had a nose bleed. :] I dunno why. Haha. And she has a dirty little secret. I know it. :] Then morning came. She has to go to their church. I was left alone in their house. Good thing. Kuya Nikki invited me to go with him and have mass. Bonding time. And then ayun. After the mass, we decided to have date. Haha. We went to SM. To our surprise, Sharlene was there with his brother and Tita Noemi. Haha. Tita Noemi needs to buy something. So, she left us in Quantum. We waited Kuya to finish playing the drums thingy. Haha. Everyone was looking at him because he was wet. Pawis. :] Haha. Then after that we decided to have a roller coaster ride. Haha. We did it 3 times. After that, we watched Harry Potter. Trip lang. Then after the movie we went home. We were really tired and hungry. After eating merienda, they drop me off in our house. Then ayun. :] WHAT A WEEKEND! :]

"You are the greatest thing that God had given me. "

Here comes the real me again.

Help me God. I don't know how to start this emo entry of mine. I have a lot of things in mind that I really wanna share. I have so many problems. Its killing me. I thought my life was okay, but then it wasn't really okay. Hmmm. Let me start it with a person I am closed to but i don't know what happened now. She used to be my bestfriend, but where the hell is she now? Was she there when I need her? Just because she transfered school, does that mean our friendship has to end in this way? I know she is busy most of the time, but do you think it would be like that always? I am not saying I am mad at her. Its just I am disappointed. Not only disappointed nor frustrated, but it makes me freaking sad to know that she is not there anymore and she is not the person I used to know. Ohh gaaaad. Kill me now. I am bothered on how she acts and on how she talks to me. It seems that there is a problem between us. I just can't figure it out with just by myself. I need her help. How will I be able to tell her if she isn't the person I used to know? Haaaay.

And one more thing, why can't he just stop bothering me? I am happy now with what I have. I don't need him anymore. But what the hell does he want with me? I having so many problems. He knows that I am already happy on what I have. And he knows that I know he is not happy. Does he want me to feel the same? I don't want to go back on being emo. I already had enough of the pain he had caused me. But isn't he finished yet in giving me pain? I already had enough of everything. Can't he just stop?

Another thing that I wanna share. I pissed off with one of my classmates. I don't wanna mention any name. I am so annoyed with that person. I am not saying that person is conceited or something. That person just annoys me up to the point that I would be like a volcano who would just erupt any minute. Haaay. Pero I have to accept that she is really like that. I don't want any fight. I just want to be happy. Haaaay.

"Do you know how it feels like to be the last one to know that you have changed?"